True Falsities

"The best things in the world are random."
--Pyro
  • Professor Longcat Throws Tail Into Race

    In a shocking newsworthy development, word has recently been released that Professor Longcat, resident scarf of Starla Insigna, has decided to run for Sir King Master / Lady Queen Mistress (we really couldn’t tell what gender it was) of Four Island. Initial response to this news has been skeptical, but increased in positivity majorly after […]

  • Tamesis Is Baking Cookies

    In late breaking news, snooping reporters from True Falsities have discovered that local Four Island lunatic Tamesis Lucien has become pregnant, and according to their recent Twitter babbling, the mother… father… whatever, is Starla Insigna.

  • Lana del Rey’s Album Comes Out, Mass Chaos Ensues

    Perhaps there is such a thing as “too good.”

  • Tamesis Receives Four Island Advocacy Award

    Local Four Island resident Tamesis Lucien has been awarded the Four Island Advocacy Award Of Advocacy And Also Advocacy. Tamesis Lucien is well-known as a potentially insane Four Islander [ That's redundant -EditorĀ ] who has panic attacks when Chrome takes too long to load Four Island. With us now, for an interview, is Tamesis Lucien […]

  • Sammi9494 Charged With Eating Salad

    In a shocking blow to her reputation, Sammi9494, local resident bubble-blower, was arrested yesterday for eating salad in Four Island’s one square-mile WiFi dead zone. Police arrived on the scene only moments after a passer-by spotted the girl sitting on a picnic blanket, eating green, leafy vegetables, and Sammi9494 was arrested after only a few […]

  • Chinese Food Found In Reservoir

    The FBI (Four Island Bearing Ingots) have issued an advisory warning people who drink water to look out for particles present in their water supply. The advisory was incredibly vague, was written in blue ink on light blue paper, and dropped in everyone’s mailboxes, and when pressed for more information, the FBI was initially not […]

  • Spammer Moves To Four Island

    Four Island is well known for having an incredibly open immigration system. One only has to agree to the terms of the Four Island Constitution, and they are pretty much immediately allowed to move in (though after the Fairyglop Incident of 2010, possible new residents must also pass a simple driving exam). Despite this, it […]

  • Dr. Blooshoie Sues To Stay Relevant

    News has arrived today that Dr. Blooshoie, local Four Island crackpot, has filed a lawsuit. News reached us today when we opened our corporate mailbox and found a letter telling us that Dr. Blooshoie was suing us. It took a while for the higher ups to realize that Dr. Blooshoie was suing True Falsities, and […]

  • Four Islanders Sent To Porn-Education Class

    Get ready to get covered in icing!

  • New CEO of Apple Appointed

    The federal board of oversights is currently on vacation.

[ Previous ] [ ]