New Year? Not Yet!
Fake News written by on January 1, 2010
In a shocking turn of events, the public holiday New Years Day has been postponed from it’s international norm of January 1st to January 2nd. The general population of Four Island hasn’t taken it too well. We went to Starla Insigna for more information.
Starla: Wait, what? What makes you think I have anything to do with this?
Dashing Young Reporter: Umm…. because you are the Lady Queen Mistress of this islandtopia?
Starla: Oh, right. Well, I postponed New Years Day because I suddenly realized that I have to write a book on fairyglops! There simply isn’t enough time to wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR YAYS until I finish this, so, you’re just going to have to wait.
The other residents of the island found it very strange when, after staying up until midnight to watch the New Years Mary Poppins sing “Happy New Years, Foo”, nothing happened. “This is unbelievable!” cried Bluemonkey, “WHERE’S RIHANNA POPPPINS‽‽‽‽‽‽‽” He was then arrested on the spot for using non-standard English punctuation. “Are you kidding me? Arrest Starla, then. She practically married the Compose Key!”[1]
Other islanders had comments too. “This is ridiculous,” comment Tamesis, “Last year, New Years was deleted and this year it’s delayed? Well, at least we’re having it!” Tamesis then broke into “I Only Fell In Love With A Glowfish” and we were too terrified to ask more.
Although everyone is annoyed about this strange lapse in sanity, tomorrow will be New Years Day. In other news, Starla’s book “Fairyglops Are Real: Trust Me, I Saw One Making Out With Your Mom Last Night” has become a number one best seller in Oatmeal Land.
- I sort of went insane when I discovered the Compose Key. I mean, it’s just so awesome! I can now type cool things like ‽°²Øñ and more easily!
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